Death on the Nile
20th Century Studios

Death on the Nile: Film Review

I genuinely didn’t think Death on the Nile was ever going to see the light of day. It kept being pushed back – due to the pandemic and the allegations about Armie Hammer – yet, to my utter surprise, here we are at release week.

Kenneth Branagh‘s latest Agatha Christie movie adaptation – following on from 2017’s Murder on the Orient Express – follows the renowned Belgian detective Hercule Poirot (Branagh) as he attends the wedding celebrations of Simon Doyle (Hammer) and Linnet Ridgeway-Doyle (Gal Gadot) with his friend Bouc (Tom Bateman, back from the previous film). The newlyweds and their guests take a trip down the Nile on the steamboat Karnak but the celebrations take a chilling turn when one of them is found murdered. Poirot must put his investigative skills to the test to figure out who committed the crime.

My expectations were very low, given all the delays and Hammer’s starring role, but as always, I wanted to give the film a chance. But it just didn’t work for me and I struggled to fully engage with it. I found it too slow, too long and thought it took forever to get going. I wasn’t particularly invested in any of the characters or who did the deed. It also didn’t reach a satisfying conclusion – Poirot’s declaration of who did it is always fascinating as he seems to pluck it from thin air but what happens after is so underwhelming.

The biggest issues were the screenplay, which is packed full of wooden or cringe-worthy lines of dialogue for the actors to contend with, and the dodgy CGI. While there may have been some on-location shooting for cutaways of the landscapes, all of the actors shot their scenes in a studio – and it shows. It is very apparent that they’re standing in front of a green screen. The boat is real and they recreated the Abu Simbel temple, but whenever they’re on deck, you know that their Egypt backdrop is fake.

There is also some questionable acting going on. Gadot and Hammer seemed particularly bland and didn’t really put a mark on their characters. Plus, they had very little chemistry together, which can also be said for Bateman and Letitia Wright as Rosalie Otterburne. I’m usually a big fan of Annette Bening but she really overdoes the acting here, I couldn’t quite believe Russell Brand as straightfaced doctor Linus Windlesham, and I was shocked that comedy duo Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders were cast and didn’t get to do anything funny!

Emma Mackey and Wright come out of it relatively unscathed though. I liked Sophie Okonedo as the jazz singer Salome Otterbourne – she was empowered, could handle herself and had this slow southern drawl – but the person who comes out of this best (in a strictly acting capacity) is Branagh himself. He was the only one who brought any comedy or levity to proceedings and he made me laugh out loud a few times.

I’ve seen really mixed reviews about Death on the Nile and I’m certainly in the negative camp. I thought Murder on the Orient Express was star-studded but dull and this exactly the same.

In cinemas Friday 11th February

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.