Ranking the Scary Movie franchise: Where does the sixth one go?
To prepare for the release of Scary Movie, aka Scary Movie 6, I watched or rewatched all five instalments of the franchise. I didn’t need to do the first two because I have them on DVD and have seen them multiple times, but it would be rude not to start with those. I then saw 3-5 for the first time for the purpose of this piece.
Now that I’ve seen the sixth one (read my review here), I know exactly where it sits in my grand ranking of the Scary Movie franchise. Here it is, from best to worst.
Scary Movie (2000)
Obviously, this has to be number one. I know it’s silly and gross, etc., but I love it so much and it gives me a hit of nostalgia. I still think it’s really funny (but that could be the nostalgia talking), I can quote it, and Shorty (Marlon Wayans) cracks me up to no end. The ‘Wazzup’ Budweiser advert parody, Shorty’s freestyle rap with Ghostface and The Blair Witch Project and The Matrix moments are the highlights. Also, compared to other instalments, there’s a tight overarching story parodying Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer.
Scary Movie (2026) – CONTAINS SPOILERS
I thought I might place this third, because of my nostalgic connection to Scary Movie 2, but honestly, this is soooo much better. I howled with laughter consistently, had tears in my eyes at one point, and I loved seeing the OG crew back together. Sure, some of the jokes are dated, bad taste, and not funny, but genuinely hilarious gags easily outweigh these. I’m so glad the Wayans family are back in charge (they created the first two). The opening kill, The Substance sequence and the KPop Demon Hunters gag are absolute gold. I can’t wait to see it again.
Scary Movie 2 (2001)
The last instalment by the Wayans family, this one focused on supernatural and haunted house films and based its central story on The Haunting, with parodies of The Exorcist and Poltergeist in the mix too. A lot of the jokes haven’t aged well and I didn’t find it that funny, plus the story is really weak and feels more like sketches cobbled together compared to the first film. But still, there are some hilarious moments in here, including Shorty getting smoked by a giant marijuana plant, Brenda (Regina Hall) cursing Cindy (Anna Faris) for bringing a reanimated skeleton in her direction, and the parody of the Charlie’s Angels alleyway fight against the Thin Man.
Scary Movie 3 (2003)
This is the first one without the Wayans family and the first one that I have no nostalgic connection to. It is messy and chaotic, trying so hard to be funny, and only succeeds occasionally. Cindy is back as a reporter, with a nephew with precognition abilities, and Brenda is his teacher. But the new leads are basically Charlie Sheen and Simon Rex as brothers who lead a send-up of Signs. Other inspirations include The Ring, 8 Mile and The Matrix. There is a crazy amount of recognisable faces in this, from Anthony Anderson, Ja Rule and Kevin Hart, to Pamela Anderson in the opening sequence, Simon Cowell as himself, Leslie Nielsen as the president and Queen Latifah as the Oracle. I really enjoyed the Jeremy Piven teleprompter gag, but that’s about it.
Scary Movie 4 (2006)
Once again written by Craig Mazin (who has since gone on to create The Last of Us and Chernobyl!), Scary Movie 4 has a really promising opening kill sequence starring Shaquille O’Neal and Dr. Phil in a parody of Saw. But generally, it seems to forget that it’s supposed to send up horror movies, as its central story is a mix of The Grudge and The War of the Worlds – and then it throws in The Village – and doesn’t really know how to wrap up all those threads, so the third act is a total mess. There are some solid moments and I laughed a few times (the Tom Cruise-Oprah Winfrey sofa jumping is a highlight), but it relies on a lot of lame gags, like people getting hit in the face.
Scary Movie 5 (2013)
After a seven-year hiatus, the franchise returned for a fifth instalment with barely any of the original people. This is the only one not to feature Faris and Hall, and they must be so grateful not to be associated with it. It is absolutely dreadful and not remotely funny. Simon Rex is back, but as a different character, and his on-screen partner is played by Ashley Tisdale. The main parodies are Mama and Paranormal Activity, but then it also pokes fun at Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Black Swan, Inception and Fifty Shades of Grey. There is so much non-horror content and it all feels so random and flat. The opening sequence starring Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan is so bad that I felt uncomfortable watching it. However, the Evil Dead sequence is decent, there are some fun cameos, and the outtakes are entertaining. Do not watch this trash! The law of diminishing returns is very real here.